Always Room for Wine

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2” diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The students laughed. He asked his students again if the jar was full. They agreed that yes, it was.

The professor then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. He proceeded to pour a cup of wine into the jar and shook it as the wine slipped between all the sand.

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.

The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else, the small stuff. If you put the sand or the pebbles into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important. Pay attention to the things that are critical in your life. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party, and fix the disposal.”

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities.
The rest is just pebbles and sand. And remember, there is always room for wine.

My friend posted this on his blog about a year ago. I don’t know how he came upon it or who wrote it, but out of the number of forgettable ‘how-to-live-your-life’ anecdotes that I’ve read, I haven’t forgotten this one. Maybe because it was not a chain email, not something forcibly received, but something stumbled upon which makes the memory of reading it pleasing. Maybe because it does not list phrases of how to live (those may begin with good quotes, but ultimately degrade into phrases which don’t help a person to live fully) which I’ve heard too many times that they’ve become too cliché for me to really appreciate anymore. I think I am captivated when reading it is because this is what my parents have always told me, that success is not how much money you make, how luxurious a house and how many cars you own, but the relationships between you and the people you love.

At times it is difficult to decipher what my parents are trying to tell me since here they are paying thousands of dollars each year for me and my sister’s education and constantly remind us how important it is to get a good job. Seems a bit hypocritical, doesn’t it? I finally told my Dad when we were out to dinner that he and my Mom were confusing me. He explained that it’s not the money that is the end, but the means. He said that it’s difficult to live a happy life without being able to provide for basic needs or to live worrying that the next paycheck may not be enough. So my parents sacrifice because they believe education is so important to helping my sister and me be able to do whatever we want when we are older. They believe that if we get good paying jobs then we will be able to provide for our children and be able to have the time to play with them. But ultimately, the most important thing to living happy is to take care of the people you love. So the job and the money to live comfortably, despite the tremendous effort spent in school, are just pebbles.

“And remember, there is always room for wine.” This is the last reason why I remembered this story. I can’t explain why and I’m not going to try and analyze it. I like it too much.